Having it all….on a to-do list

I had dinner last week with cycling friends and between the wine and tiramisu, a friend lamented that feminism was to blame for her inability schedule time to ride her bike. My ears perked up since I sometimes ponder the feminist idea about what it means to “have it all,” except she was kvetching from a different perspective. She griped about cooking and cleaning up from dinner, after beginning a new, temporary job, and she complained that the men she rides with don’t have to worry about chores because their non-working wives do them, affording them plenty of time for a post work ride.

I don’t think it’s about feminism. I think feminism allows women to have choices that at one time weren’t available to them. What women choose to do is up to them. So if my friend can’t find time to work out, isn’t that an organizational problem? What about the millions of single, working parents? I’m sure they would be thrilled to have a sliver of free time. Maybe my friend needs to determine a better way to split household chores amongst her spouse and children? Maybe she needs a better to-do list? What do you think?


7 responses to “Having it all….on a to-do list

  1. Everyone I know who complains about not having time to work out finds time to watch their favorite television shows. Make one pot meals. Leave the dishes in the sink for a day. Where there’s a will …

  2. I don’t think this is one she can hang on feminism. My wife & both work, train virtually every day, make home cooked meals, get the kids to practice, to the doctor, watch the games, pay the bills. . . There is a lot we don’t do. No doubt, it is hard. It’s also a matter of choices. Yes, a better todo list is a start.

  3. I definitely don’t think this dilemma is feminist in origin. Feminism gives us choices about how we can spend our time. It gives us the freedom to have career ambition and choice, to do what those before us never dreamt of doing. Beyond choice, for me the discussion moves into one about prioritisation and self-motivation. If it’s important it gets done.

    My colleague’s stay at home wife makes him sliced fruit for a snack every day. I have joked around and said I wish I could have a wife to do that for me. But I don’t. So since fruit is important to me – not its presentation – I just grab an apple and go. You can have it all 🙂

  4. For me this discussion is about what we do now that feminism has given us choice. For me what we do depends on understanding how important things are to us, prioritising them accordingly, and making personal choices (not feminist choices – just choices).

    My colleague’s stay at home wife makes him a little box of cut fruit for the office every day. I have often joked with him saying that I wish I had a stay at home wife to do that for me. But since I don’t I have personal choices to make. I don’t prioritise cut fruit – but I do make healthy eating a priority. So I grab an apple and go. I guess that shows that you can have it all – although my all may not be as pretty as his! 🙂

    • I think she’s using it as an excuse bc she’s now doing the same stuff as her husband (working full time), but she’s still responsible for her kids and the “housewife” stuff too. So while I know where she’s going with the feminism thing, she’s using it as an excuse bc she’s unorganized. And with feminism comes equality regarding parental roles and men doing their part with the kids, chores, etc. Everyone does it differently, and everybody’s got an excuse for something. She just never brought that one to the table!

  5. Better time management! Leave the dishes – they will probably still be there after the ride!

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