Taking a cue from Sheryl Sandberg’s Option B

Today is my mom’s birthday. She would have been 69 years old. June 5 usually represented what my family called, “Birthday Week.” My mom kicked off 6 days of Dairy Queen cake for her, Portillo’s chocolate cake for my son, more Dairy Queen cake for my husband and finally, some kind of cake we weren’t already sick of, for me. It was exhausting because I usually had to cram in kiddie parties and family gatherings (we combined my husband’s and mine, but the kid got his own). We always started off strong for my mom though. She always got her choice of dinner and an M&M Treatza-Pizza or Pecan Cluster Dairy Queen confection. In my family, Gemini’s ruled. And that was cool.

It’s ironic that this week my Facebook page was inundated by Sheryl Sandberg’s post acknowledging the end of Sheloshim for her husband Dave Goldberg and shared by people who’ve lost parents. I also read Mayim Bialik’s post on Kveller.com about the loss of her dad and grieving in a public space. I would like to have a minyan with both of these women and I’d also include Sheryl Strayed, but she’s not Jewish, so maybe she could hang out there anyway?

I have no epiphany to share in the mourning process. People tell me the “firsts” are the hardest, but Birthday Week is forever shortened by one day, and I don’t see that ever improving. I considered sitting in my backyard among my mom’s flower pots, sipping ice tea, wearing one of her large brimmed hats and rereading The Great Gatsby not only because it was one of her favorite books and I have her note-filled copy but also because my son needs to read it over the summer. I guess in a way, that’s taking Option B.

Bibs, shorts and apps. Bike stuff.

As of May 19, I have ridden a total of 125 outdoor training miles in preparation for Ride the Rockies next month. Abysmal spring weather has dampened what is generally the time for accumulating base miles. However, I’ve been in this situation before, and because I’ll be in Denver next week for my pre-RtR Colorado Camp with my friend Sue, I know I’ll pick up more miles. I’m not going to put a number as to how many, I just hope the weather allows us to ride.

In the spirit of my pre-RtR days, I bought some new stuff because I haven’t purchased bike gear in years and more importantly, if I’m on the saddle and climbing, comfort is a must.

One thing about Ride the Rockies is, whatever you begin the day wearing, you will strip off by the end. So I highly recommend a handy little app called, What To Wear Cycling. Pretty obvious, but it uses GPS so you get your weather conditions. Yesterday morning, I checked it and reluctantly pulled out the leg warmers and full finger gloves. Day 2 of RtR is Grand Mesa, and I vividly remember starting with gloves, leg and ear warmers and jackets, peeling stuff off as we climbed and quickly redressing at the summit which was around 30 degrees. It was strange as I descended in mid-June and immediately headed for hot tea at the food station.

I also bought new bike shorts. I like Pactimo and bought several of the same pair for my 2012 ride. I still wear them, but this time I tried bib shorts. I see so many women, particularly triathlon women wearing them, so I figured I’d give them a shot. They are very comfortable and a little more streamlined then shorts. I like the almost girdle or Spanx compression too. However, I do not get how they can be worn on long distance rides. Seriously. Guys have the advantage here. I know I will not want to take off my shirt and nearly get naked in a tiny porta-potty each time I have to pee. Unfortunately, I don’t think they’re making the trip, but I did get new Pactimo shorts which I’m packing. Ladies, do you wear bib shorts when riding long distances?

The last thing I got was a new Gore Bike Wear Women’s Cycling jacket. I bought my first Gore jacket in 2004 and I still wear it today. It is by far the most durable, convenient and practical piece of clothing I own. It has an inside back pocket and strap so I can stuff it up into itself and wear it as a belt. It also has zippered sleeves which is tremendously helpful when riding long distance. I searched all winter for an updated version but sadly, couldn’t find it. Does Gore want us to wear more of their clothing? What I bought is useful in wind and rain, but it doesn’t provide any the features as my original. It doesn’t even have pockets! What’s the point of a CYCLING jacket if you can’t put your full-finger gloves away when the temps warm up?

I’ll probably wear it in case it rains at Red Rocks when we see The Decemberists.

Three strikes you’re out or third times a charm?

I received my Ride the Rockies swag in the mail. A cool t-shirt and hat as well as a sticker and some kind of yay you’re doing this insane ride promotional  card. I enjoy the freebies and souvenirs of events I enter, but I never wear the stuff until after I finish. Why would I walk around saying I ran this or that if I haven’t yet? And yet—the promotional card for RtR clearly states, wear this hat! Wear this t-shirt! Tell everyone you know that you and 2000 of your closest friends will be participating in this 7 day 465 scenic wonder that IS Ride the Rockies!

I woke up this morning to 36ºF and snow on the ground and promptly returned to bed. I rode my bike outside 16 miles once earlier this month and cannot in good conscience, start wearing that damned, taunting swag until I at LEAST ride 20!

Do you wear your swag before you participate in the event?

The Blessing of a Red Light

Author Wendy Mogel, author of  The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus is on to something. The gist of her parenting books basically argue that it is acceptable for children to be imperfect and that we are doing a disservice as parents by removing obstacles and failures from our kids’ lives. It is healthy, natural and a blessing to experience some defeat. She’s saying, which is absolutely true, that the whole “Everyone’s a winner” mentality is not real life. So get over it. But this is for the most part, a bike blog; I shall now conclude  the parenting metaphors for the day.

I’ve ridden in many assorted groups, and I’ve come to the conclusion that there are two types of cyclists. One group, when approaching a yellow or red light, refuses to unclip and gently bobbles, balances and quickly removes the self-inflicted wedgies while waiting for the light change. The highest priority is the moment the light turns green they can haul ass, reassert themselves as alpha leaders and continue to surge and make those folks in the back feel like Duncan yo-yos.

The second group are my comrades and fellow bike slackers. As I approach a yellow light, a warm flow of relief encapsulates me as I know I can not only slow down and unclip, but chug some water and take some nice deep breaths. Because we all need a recovery, and I’ll take it wherever I can. On my club ride this week, I ride my 45 second pull at 22 m.p.h. as long as I obtain my 1 minute 15 sec draft. There were 3 riders. Now some of those red light haters might say, “I don’t need no stinkin’ recovery, and I can pull for HOURS.” I say baloney! It’s usually the people who say they don’t need it who quietly thank God and traffic they finally get a break.

While my Tuesday Night B Ride might qualify as a recovery ride for some, it is not for me. The ride gets drop-ins from guys who can recover with a 19.5 m.p.h. ride because they are Super Riding A Dudes. For me, it is an interval workout ride because 19.5 is really fast. This week, I finally felt that I had my first respectable ride so far. My first B ride stunk as my average speed was around 16ish. I could barely climb the faux flats at a decent clip and needed the group to allow me to catch up. It was more a D ride than any other letter, and I didn’t go home feeling like king of the pack. But this past Tuesday, I respected myself on the ride.

So really? It’s ok to breathe deep and drink water. It’s ok if you’re not the fastest person on the ride, and those red lights are allowing you to catch up. It’s ok to be a B rider rather than an A. Having realistic and attainable goals make those moments of achieving them really satisfying. I am happy with myself as long as I improve and don’t think the entire team needs an “everyone’s a winner” ribbon. Then again, I’m a Generation X’er. Are we still called slackers? I’ll let you know at the next red light.

Riding Outdoors? Not me. Not yet.

I confess. I have no athletic goals for 2014. Well, that’s not exactly true. I’ve signed up for some things, but I haven’t been “training” specifically for anything. Nada. Nil. Nothing. Honestly, after leaving Ride The Rockies early last summer due to my mom’s battle with Multiple Myeloma, I’ve been slightly distracted. It’s amazing what happens when a family member takes ill. Everything else falls by the wayside, including caring for myself. Last fall, when my mom was hospitalized, I had been running 7 miles and had signed up for the Soldier Field 10 Mile Race for May 2014 and hoped to beat my last run from 2011. Well, I’m currently building my base back up at 2-3 miles because I haven’t run regularly since October. Everyone says you have to take care of yourself when you’re in a crisis mode for someone else, but that is easier said than done. I could not even think about myself when my mom was in the hospital. It felt selfish and a waste of time since I could be with her and talk to doctors. But it’s true. You have to take care of yourself because you need to be strong for the person you’re caring for. In December, I started riding on the trainer indoors and running on the treadmill but nowhere near the amount or regularity one needs to adequately participate in an race.

So what did I do? I signed up with my husband to ride a century for Tour de Cure for the American Diabetes Foundation. I get an early season goal to achieve and raise money for a good cause that effects 26 million people. SO—if you’d like to contribute to Tour De Cure please follow this link http://tour.diabetes.org/site/TR?px=9905620&pg=personal&fr_id=9382&s_src=email_tour&s_subsrc=autoresponder-forward. I truly appreciate it.

Never say never or people will call you names

Sometimes I wonder why I run and bike. Usually, this happens when I’m alone on a path or street, trying to maintain a specific zone or cadence and ignoring the voice in my head suggesting I turn around because it’s too hard or that I slow down because it’s windy. My fitness relies on goals. Whether it’s a race or specific improvement or just maintenance, I need goals, or I can think of hundreds of activities to pass the time besides working out.

In December, my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, which according to the Mayo Clinic is, “… a cancer of your plasma cells, a type of white blood cell present in your bone marrow.” While there is no cure currently, there are many treatments and luckily, she was treated early and has responded very well. Things are ok with her. She leads a busy life and has an amazing, positive attitude. The thing is, it REALLY prioritized my goals when my mom, who I have always viewed as indestructible, in the short span of weeks prior to her diagnosis, suddenly became wracked with pain and bed-ridden, taking on physical attributes more commonly associated with my late  90+ grandma. Yes, things are much better now, but it was breath-taking to experience (and not the beautiful vista kind of “breath-taking” but rather the kind where you actually feel your breath being taken away). I kept picturing a ladder where my mom became my grandma, and I became my mom, and we kept climbing up.

This mental image brought into a very clear focus why I ride and run, why I choose to torture my body in the name of physical and mental fitness.   I do this because I don’t want to climb that ladder, or if time must pass and the climb is inevitable, I at least would like to slow the climb and enjoy with gratitude every step and rung along the way.

Three years ago, my husband and I signed up for Ride the Rockies bike tour and raised over $3,000 for the Livestrong Foundation. We knew several people suffering from various cancers and in my perpetual guilt/gratitude, I needed to give something back for the fact that my family and I are healthy, happy, and able to have this adventure.

From March 2010 to June, I rode over 700 base miles in training. In Colorado, I rode over 500 miles in one week and climbed thousands of feet in elevation. Ride the Rockies was the hardest task I ever accomplished. There is no way to train for the elevation or climbs living in Chicago, but I did it. I also didn’t realize the mental workout a ride like that would take on my head. I was terrified of the descents and pissed my climbing was so slow. What most people had said was great fun was utterly grueling and made me feel that whatever fitness level I had in Chicago utterly vanished in Colorado.  So, I came home, promised myself that I’d never do that again, and I set other fitness goals for myself (mostly running).

Well, self, I’m doing it again.

And, the reaction that I get when I tell my non-cycling friends is, “Ilyse. You said you’d never do that again.” Or, “Are you #@?!ing crazy?”  Honestly, the reaction that I get from many of my cycling friends isn’t really that much different..  Apparently, I am a crazy hypocrite, but yes, I’m doing it again, and here’s why. I’d like to do it a little better than I did in 2010, and even if that doesn’t happen, mentally, I’m more aware of what to expect and hope even if my legs fail me, my head won’t.

So it’s off to Denver in June right after my 8th grader graduates from middle school. I will miss his 14th birthday because I’ll be riding. He said that he totally understands because he loves his grandma, and I’m riding for a good cause (see below). I’ll be riding on my husband’s birthday and mine as well. I like the idea of climbing up a mountain on my 45th birthday. I’m not so sure about riding down it. We’ll see how it goes.

More importantly, I am raising money for the Multiple Myeloma Foundation and am riding in hopes of a cure for my mom as well as the other millions of people who suffer from this disease. If you want to help by making a donation, that would be great. I truly appreciate it. You can click the link below. Thank you.

Please click on the link which will take you directly to the site.

I rant, I rave, but I don’t do this!

I am now convinced that we as a society are on the decline. No weapons of mass destruction? Nah. Jeggings? No. We’re done. Here come the Goths cuz the Romans have exited the vomitorium. Why the despair?

Because if you’re sitting in a public waiting room, like at a Toyota dealership for example, and you think it is perfectly acceptable to listen to music, using your SPEAKER phone, you are part of the problem and not the solution, my friend.

Where are the manners? Why did a grown man in his late 30’s at least think it’s permissible to pollute the waiting room? No one else blasted their music. People wore HEADPHONES to keep their bad Polish, or maybe Russian pop music to themselves. But not where I was sitting.

I looked at him several times. I covered my ears. Did he get the hint? Nope. And no, I didn’t ask him to turn it down, off or stick it where the sun don’t shine because I’m a not interested in getting confrontational in a waiting room. Especially with my 16 year old sitting next to me.

Instead I engrossed myself in the Meaningful Beauty by Cindy Crawford beauty products infomercial. Twice.

On to the next adventure.