Never say never or people will call you names

Sometimes I wonder why I run and bike. Usually, this happens when I’m alone on a path or street, trying to maintain a specific zone or cadence and ignoring the voice in my head suggesting I turn around because it’s too hard or that I slow down because it’s windy. My fitness relies on goals. Whether it’s a race or specific improvement or just maintenance, I need goals, or I can think of hundreds of activities to pass the time besides working out.

In December, my mom was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, which according to the Mayo Clinic is, “… a cancer of your plasma cells, a type of white blood cell present in your bone marrow.” While there is no cure currently, there are many treatments and luckily, she was treated early and has responded very well. Things are ok with her. She leads a busy life and has an amazing, positive attitude. The thing is, it REALLY prioritized my goals when my mom, who I have always viewed as indestructible, in the short span of weeks prior to her diagnosis, suddenly became wracked with pain and bed-ridden, taking on physical attributes more commonly associated with my late  90+ grandma. Yes, things are much better now, but it was breath-taking to experience (and not the beautiful vista kind of “breath-taking” but rather the kind where you actually feel your breath being taken away). I kept picturing a ladder where my mom became my grandma, and I became my mom, and we kept climbing up.

This mental image brought into a very clear focus why I ride and run, why I choose to torture my body in the name of physical and mental fitness.   I do this because I don’t want to climb that ladder, or if time must pass and the climb is inevitable, I at least would like to slow the climb and enjoy with gratitude every step and rung along the way.

Three years ago, my husband and I signed up for Ride the Rockies bike tour and raised over $3,000 for the Livestrong Foundation. We knew several people suffering from various cancers and in my perpetual guilt/gratitude, I needed to give something back for the fact that my family and I are healthy, happy, and able to have this adventure.

From March 2010 to June, I rode over 700 base miles in training. In Colorado, I rode over 500 miles in one week and climbed thousands of feet in elevation. Ride the Rockies was the hardest task I ever accomplished. There is no way to train for the elevation or climbs living in Chicago, but I did it. I also didn’t realize the mental workout a ride like that would take on my head. I was terrified of the descents and pissed my climbing was so slow. What most people had said was great fun was utterly grueling and made me feel that whatever fitness level I had in Chicago utterly vanished in Colorado.  So, I came home, promised myself that I’d never do that again, and I set other fitness goals for myself (mostly running).

Well, self, I’m doing it again.

And, the reaction that I get when I tell my non-cycling friends is, “Ilyse. You said you’d never do that again.” Or, “Are you #@?!ing crazy?”  Honestly, the reaction that I get from many of my cycling friends isn’t really that much different..  Apparently, I am a crazy hypocrite, but yes, I’m doing it again, and here’s why. I’d like to do it a little better than I did in 2010, and even if that doesn’t happen, mentally, I’m more aware of what to expect and hope even if my legs fail me, my head won’t.

So it’s off to Denver in June right after my 8th grader graduates from middle school. I will miss his 14th birthday because I’ll be riding. He said that he totally understands because he loves his grandma, and I’m riding for a good cause (see below). I’ll be riding on my husband’s birthday and mine as well. I like the idea of climbing up a mountain on my 45th birthday. I’m not so sure about riding down it. We’ll see how it goes.

More importantly, I am raising money for the Multiple Myeloma Foundation and am riding in hopes of a cure for my mom as well as the other millions of people who suffer from this disease. If you want to help by making a donation, that would be great. I truly appreciate it. You can click the link below. Thank you.

Please click on the link which will take you directly to the site.

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One response to “Never say never or people will call you names

  1. Hi! I was just checking a few of your posts and had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance -emilywalsh688 (at) gmail.com- Thanks : )

    Emmy

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