“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.”
Roman Philosoper, Statesman
After much deliberation with both sides of my brain, we (I) have come to the conclusion that yesterday’s first group ride fail was not due in part to my legs, or lack of endurance or poor cycling. It was due to the angel and devil residing on my shoulders during a semi-pull into the wind. It was due to being intimidated by the other people in club, not knowing anyone very well, feeling like if I drop off then I’m a loser (I dropped off). It was my head getting the best of me.
Hindsight is a bitch, but literally removing myself from the pack and viewing the gap that formed behind me, was hindsight a little too late. I keep thinking I should’ve tried to stay on the back of the pack and I slowed down too much. Realizing I could’ve just created my own gap and someone would’ve eventually rotated over and closed it makes me want to kick myself in the pants.
How do you stop negative thoughts from taking over? How do you get yourself mentally to a place so you don’t screw up all the people behind you. People say cycling is an individual sport, but when you ride in a club, it is anything but individual. It’s all about communication, alertness, and having the stuff to keep up.
Oh well. There’s always next Sunday.